


Only just a dream

by GhostwithShotgun



Category: The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Angst, I really need to get my feelings out, M/M, post 250
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-07
Updated: 2015-05-07
Packaged: 2018-03-29 12:19:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3896071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostwithShotgun/pseuds/GhostwithShotgun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thomas isn't as happy in Paradise as he should. He decides that it's time to tell Minho what had happened.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Only just a dream

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah, my first Newtmas fic! I really just need to get out my feelings after reading The Death Cure.  
>  Enjoy!

He laughed at a joke Newt just told him. Newt watched Thomas, his deep brown eyes sparkling with happiness. When he managed to finally catch his breath, Thomas closed his eyes and leaned back with his head resting against the tree they were sitting under. He felt happier than he had felt since coming out of the Box. He felt Newt's gaze on him.  
"Hey, Tommy. Remember the night you spent in the Maze?" The blonde asks suddenly.  
"How could I forget?" Thomas hummed, boring his face into the curve of Newt's neck.  
"Right. Yeah. I never actually told you about my night when that happened?" Newt continued, with a more serious tone.  
"No, I don't think you did" Thomas replied.  
"Well... To put it simple: it was the worst night of my life, as far as I can remember. I spent the whole night on my knees, right in front of the closed door. I felt so bloody hopeless, Tommy. After my... Fall, Alby and Minho were the only ones who kept me on my feet and gave me my will to live back. Then you came along. Your questions were bloody annoying of course, but you brought new energy to the Glade and gave most of us hope again, including me. And I watched the bloody Maze close around all three of you. It felt like someone had taken my life away, only the pain were worse than when I jumped. So much worse..." Newt's voice broke and he trailed off, tears clearly visible in his eyes. Thomas hated to see him like that and softly pecked his nose.  
"Hey, it's okay. Me and Minho survived the night and we're still here with you. We escaped WICKED, and now nothing will separate us. We're safe." he murmured softly. Newt nodded and smiled his warm, wonderful smile. But then the crazy lit up in his eyes and he started coughing up blood. Thomas felt his chest being squeesed in the familiar feeling of panic.

Thomas wakes up, shooting up from his bed. He looks around and sighs. It was only a dream. He lays back down on his pillow. Oh, how he misses Newt. The sadness grows stronger every day. And so does the guilt. It feels like it's eating him up from the inside, and he's not sure how much longer he can take it. He squeeses his eyes tightly shut and takes a deep breath.  
"That's it. I'm telling Minho. Today." he promise himself out loud. Keeping the whole thing a secret from the Asian was not exactly relieving his gulit. He knows Minho will hate him and probably never speak to him again, but he deserves to know.  
He gets out of bed, abandoning any hope e had of getting more sleep. He walks over to his small desk, and picks up the note Newt gave to him when they fled to Denver. He looks at the words, tearing up like he always do.

Kill me.  
If you've ever been my friend,  
kill me.

"Watcha got there?" a voice behind him asks, causing Thomas to jump. He quickly hides the note turn around, only to face Minho. It's now or never.  
"Min, we need to talk." Thomas states, motioning towards his bed. Minho furrows his eyebrows at his friend's serious tone, but does as he's told. Thomas sits down beside him and takes a deep breath.  
"I know you're going to hate me after this, but it feels so wrong to not tell you." Thomas begins nervously, and Minho looks even more confused.  
"Newt's dead, and I... I killed him." Thomas closes his eyes, waiting for the outlash, but when nothing happens he open them again.  
Minho's face is a combination of anger and chock, but he stay still, willing Thomas to explain.  
"He gave me this note when we left for Denver. He made me promise not to open it before the time was right." Thomas says with a voice heavy with sorrow, handing Minho the note he had been clutching in his hand. The boy takes it and reads it over and over, before looking at Thomas again. His anger seemed to have faded a bit, replaced with a small amount understanding and more hurt.  
"I hadn't read it yet when we came to get him back from the Cranks, so when he said that seeing me made him sick, it was because he thought that I had chosen to ignore it. He gave me the note because he knew that you could never do what he wanted. I just hope that he knew that it wouldn't be easy for me either. Then I met him again on my way out of Denver. I tried to reason with him, saying that WICKED would soon have the cure. He was so angry with me that he wrestled me to the ground, yelling how much he hated me for not doing this for him. He yelled at me about his attempted suicide, and then raised the hand in which I held my gun. He put the gun against his own forehead. I saw how scared he was of losing his sanity and he screamed at me to kill him. Then he calmed down and looked just as sane as he had back in the Maze. His voice softened when he begged me for one last time, and I couldn't stand it anymore so I just... Pulled the trigger." The words had been falling out of his mouth, but now his voice broke and he couldn't continue, tears streaming down his cheeks.  
The only sound in Thomas' room was for a long while just his sobs, then Minho finally broke the silence.  
"Did you really think I would hate you after this? Shucking slinthead. You gave Newt what he really wanted, and he was right. I could never have done it."  
He pulled Thomas into a hug, and that was how the others found them later: holding eachother, mourning for the loss of their best friend.


End file.
